Tuesday, July 27, 2004


The logo just under discussion.

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IM Discussion about the New 1L Underground Logo

Bacon: What the hell is that?
Bacon:  I'm the ass?  How come I have to be the ass?
Pork Roll: how great is that?
Pork Roll: that's our logo
Pork Roll: we're going to make our site posh
Bacon: I don't want to be the ass!
Bacon: Switch me out with Pork n Beans!
Pork Roll: why?
Bacon: Because he can be the ass.
Pork Roll: i like it
Bacon: Then you be the ass.
Pork Roll: don't be difficult

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Tuesday, July 20, 2004

I just sent out my first resume and cover letter.  I plan on avoiding OCR entirely and taking call back week to build snowmen or something.  I'll let you all know how well my plan works.

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Monday, July 19, 2004

I feel bad for modern US liberals/progressives who continue to embarrass themselves in the eyes of most Americans with their (selective) ridiculous oversensitivity.  The lobotomy necessary to successfully sit through a Michael Moore movie must also have deleterious effects on one's sense of humor.  How else to explain this?
 
In brief, California's governor is in the midst of a battle with the state legislature over spending.  The particulars of the fight aren't important, but the governor tried to use humor in a recent press conference: 
 
Borrowing from an old SNL skit, "Pumping up with Hans and Fritz," Governor Schwartzenegger called Democratic legislators who refuse to go along with spending cuts "girlie men."

State Sen. Sheila Kuehl said the governor had resorted to "blatant homophobia."

"It uses an image that is associated with gay men in an insulting way, and it was supposed to be an insult. That's very troubling that he would use such a homophobic way of trying to put down legislative leadership," said Kuehl, one of five members of the Legislature's five-member Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Caucus. . . .

Assemblyman Mark Leno, a San Francisco Democrat who is chairman of the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Caucus, said he was glad Schwarzenegger didn't repeat the "girlie men" remark Sunday, saying it was "as misogynist as it is anti-gay."

"To disparage a group of law abiding tax paying citizens is just wrong," Leno said. 
  
Does SNL really keep people up at night?  I thought the problem with Saturday Night Live was that it wasn't funny; I didn't realize how deeply it cut my fellow citizens. It's nice to know that there are no important, substantive issues California's representatives need to deal with.  Then again, perhaps such misplaced energy keeps them from doing their normal mischief. Don't bother explaining to me how important this media-inspired kerfluffle really is; I don't buy it. 
 
Would I have called used the term "girlie men?"  No; I'm extremely careful with my language and constantly worried my motives will be misconstrued (as a non-Democrat, I realize that many of my classmates already consider me one small step above a bigot).  I probably would have compared these profligate spenders to drunken sailors.  Then again, I'm sure I'd be lambasted by groups for slandering alcoholics. 
 
The only "group of law abiding tax paying citizens" the Governor was lambasting [sic] was the group of legislators who refuse to pass a budget.  It's amazing how many of the same people who delight in comparing George Bush to Adolf Hitler (responsible for the death of 12 million men, women, and children in organized killing camps) find "girlie men" beyond the pale.  Get a life.

(Hat Tip: WSJ's Best of the Web)

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Wow! It's so wonderful to hear from Pork Rind after her long summer slaving away in the legal coal mines that I'm speechless; her energy (and animosity?) is truly breathtaking.  I concur with much of what she has to say, and I no longer feel the full post I was planning to write about classmates who announce to the world that they've been "lucky enough to have been chosen for Law Review" is necessary. 
 
I understand that my classmates who have been chosen as associate editors of a desired journal find themselves in somewhat of a bind: one always desires to share good news, but the fact that one doesn't know which journal a potential interlocutor has been chosen for (if (s)he has been chosen at all) means that some delicacy is essential.  Everyone should chill out a bit, and wait for the membership rosters to be published.   

Keep in mind that we can't all be equally happy with the outcome of the writing competition.  There's little point in playing a game in which everybody wins; membership is valuable in large part because it's relatively difficult to obtain.  Law students do tend towards the competitive, and "losing" hurts.  
 
Anyway, congratulations to those of you who got what you wanted.  And for those of you who had hoped for a different outcome, remember the writing competition was one (relatively stupid) battle in a long war.

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For fuck's sake. GO AWAY!
 
It's mid-July, and suddenly, my law school buddy list comes alive, and everyone who hasn't felt the need to speak to me all summer - or, in some cases, hardly ever all last year - is suddenly IMing me. And they all either want to tell me they made it on to a journal, or for me to tell them it's OK that they didn't make it on to one. That, and they all seem to want to know what classes I am taking, because, golly-gee-whillickers, you mean I didn't pick all my classes on the first day they were available?
 
No, you neurotic, overachieving uber-twit, I have not picked my classes. Nay, not even given them a thought, because guess what, we are all going to change our minds a million times before the drop/add deadline even begins to approach, and also because it's fucking SUMMER, and I have all year to think about this crap. Thanks for asking, though.
 
And, no, I do NOT want to tell you all about my job at Giant New York Law Firm. And no, I don't want to be your resource, and tell you how to look for firm jobs, or what the "atmosphere" is like. Sniff some white-out, stay up till 3 AM and self-administer a few papercuts, that'll give you a good idea of the fucking atmosphere around here. Asshole. Oh - and, no, I don't want to hear about your job either. There is nothing so unique and exciting about your experience that I can't learn from the Office of Career Derailment, I mean Development. That's right, bitch, your momma was wrong, and you ain't special. And neither is your ghetto-ass, unpaid, took-whatever-I-could-get summer job.
 
Leave me alone! It's SUMMER! We think about this crap all the rest of the year, and in less than two years, we'll be thinking about it the rest of our bloody LIVES. Do you REALLY not get enough of it during the year? Must you REALLY ruminate about this crap in the middle of summer? Fuckin' A, people! I appreciate the fact that you are over-achievers, the movers and shakers of the future, but for fuck's sake, I have my B/B+ average, I'm smack dab in the middle of the class, leave me to my dead-end job at a life-sucking firm and go blow a federal judge under the bench, just LEAVE ME ALONE!

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hot off the wire: it appears the law library at penn has provided a quick reference page on blogs and blawgs (never really liked that term, personally).  some of the great legal blogs are included.  interestingly enough, however, there's a conspicuous absence of a certain penn law blog . . .

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Monday, July 12, 2004

music to my ears, porkroll. though, i'd like to think of a summer hiatus as burnout protection, rather than laziness.

to assuage any fears i'd permanently left the building (lest that be chalked up as the explanation for the long intermission), i offer the following for your listening pleasure: from the archives, "appointed forever" by bar & grill singers, an inspiring ditty extolling the perks of service on the federal bench, set to the turtles' "happy together." a selection:

I’m a federal judge
And I’m smarter than you
I can do whatever I want to do
For all my life.

apparently it's caught the eye of at least one federal judge. See Suboh v. Borgioli, 298 F. Supp. 2d 192, 194 (D. Ma. 2004). of course, one hopes all jurists are as appreciative of satire...

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To keep their blogs active (and forestall losing their readers) during the summer months when many of us law students are too lazy to post, I see that some blogs have decided to host guest bloggers. That's a wonderful idea. Unfortunately, however, I don't think Notes star shines bright enough in the firmament of blawgs to have groupies, at least outside of Penn's incoming 1L class.

Our spies at some of the admitted students events hosted in various cities throughout the country made us aware of this site's popularity among some impressionable incoming 1Ls. This gave Bacon and me an idea. We should have a contest for one or two new bloggers to be selected from the new 1L class. This blog is entitled, after all, Notes from the 1L Underground. So, if anyone out there is interested, s(he) should send an email containing a sample post to Bacon or me. We'll post funny ones, and invite anyone we find particularly amusing to join us.

PS. I'd like to thank the tireless Bacon for her semi-heroic efforts in keeping the blog alive. I'd also like to thank the police officers and nonprofits of the world for inspiring her by their depraved existences. Not only does she work at least 15 hours a week, but she posts regularly (during work hours, of course). Bacon truly is a dynamo.

PPS. It feels good to finally post something. Hopefully the cobwebs are gone, and I'll start posting more regularly. No promises, though, at least until Corporations and Evidence start (at which point I'll have hours each week with absolutely nothing better to do.)

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Hindsight is 20/20

Today Ms. B and I had a lunch meeting at a non-profit legal clinic in Los Angeles. We drove past it several times as we were looking for a law office and not a crack whore ghetto apartment house. You see, it's confusing when you're expecting some sort of law office signage and all you see is a iron-barred porch set with a Snak Shak vending machine dispensing Skittles and Cheez N Crackers.

We couldn't find parking in the dirt lot attached to the office, so we parked on the street, in front of some people replacing what looked like the entire transmission of their 1974 12-passenger Chevrolet van.

Inside, we were led into the conference room. Everyone was already seated and enjoying their lunches of ham. Lots and lots of ham. I sat in a chair with only one armrest. I assume the other one had been chewed off by someone trying to get away.

We were asked to introduce ourselves to each other as "the nonprofit community is small and someday the people in this room [would be our] colleagues." At this point -- reeling from the smell of ham and disoriented by the single armrest -- I was about to cry. That was to be my future? Ham and cheez and office furniture from 1968? Why hadn't I been introduced to this world before I started law school? I would have worked a hell of a lot harder.

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